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Wednesday, November 12, 2008


I MADE THE BIGGEST FUCKING MISTAKE OF MY TEENAGE EXISTENCE. I LEFT THE JOB OF TELLING SOMEONE THAT I COULDN'T GO TO THEIR 18TH BIRTHDAY TO MY PARENTS, but I didn't consider the fact that my parents didn't know why I couldn't go. So now the person who's having the party probably thinks I'm a total spaztard/asshole/retard of a "FRIEND" and I still have to go to the party. FAN-fucking-TASTIC (can you hear the sarcasm in every letter of that word) I can almost taste the awkwardness of that...can you? Think about it. After being a total crap-sicle of a person trying to get out of going to the party. You end up getting let off the dress code (which was totally not the problem) and still having to go while you now feel like a TOTAL AND UTTER ASSHOLE! I'm might just shoot myself on Friday night.

You see I didn't know how to say that I wasn't going. I was thinking of making my parents do it. Then I consulted my friends (thank you Kurt and Jace) they told me that it might be better and maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty if I told her myself and maybe she would understand. So while I was trying to muster up the courage to tell her I wasn't going in the little time there was left to procrastinate about it, my parents said they'd take care of it. So I was like "uhmm okay, but please don't make it sound like I really didn't want to go or make me look like a total spaz." and I let them do it.

Then they go and tell the person I have fucking "ISSUES" with the attire(which AGAIN is SO NOT THE CASE!!!) so now I am not doing the 18 candles and they still want me to go. They should have just fucking shot me. She'll probably hate me and I'll probably die of utter un-awesomeness at the party and be a total kill-joy.I'm sorry in advance by the way.

This party is happening on Saturday. The day I am also due at my classmates house for a whole day of weirdness. Isn't life great? My other classmate does live near the party venue though, so maybe if I die she can bury me in her backyard or in the vacant lot beside their house.(Jace please do this when I'm dead, I'll tell Stephy to bring my corpse to you okay)

I'm not overreacting, I'm just totally...arghh there isn't even a word for how I'm feeling. I hate myself ,yet I want to explain myself, I'm a bad person. There might be a song, but I can't think of it yet.

Oh now I have some lines:

That's about all I have for now, because I can't think anymore. I'm listening to music now. I have to go to school tomorrow, but I won't have any classes because it's our RECOLLECTION tomorrow. So we'll probably just hang around at school and talk about stuff. I'll bring the camera tomorrow just so I can get more shots of my classmates when they're not in uniform XD I feel a bit better now...music does a kid like me good. That's why I try to always have it with me...even if I have to sing to myself :]

I'll tell you how this story ends...soon.

I need to get hyper...xoNikki Neonxo

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Killme;
on; 6:36 AM


Tuesday, January 8, 2008


They Look Alike But They're 3 Different People

<---RYAN ROSS
<---"SAM"





<--------"GAVIN"
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Killme;
on; 3:49 AM


Monday, June 4, 2007


Aarrrggghh Classes are gonna start soon @%#$ I hate this KARMA!!!!!!!!!!! Ian, Precious and I are going to the same school which is really cool considering they rock so hard hahaha.

The reason why I particularly hate THIS school year:
  1. New School
  2. I'm in a section w/o Ian and/or Precious
  3. I had a shitty time shopping for school supplies since the list was a whole bond paper
  4. I have to get a med. certificate to get a locker
  5. Cat is going to another school
  6. Sydney's moving tomorrow
Thats about it Love forever

Killme;
on; 2:04 AM


Sunday, March 11, 2007



Ok so my half a computer screen of a post got deleted so I decided I'd give a more of a shotgun update with pictures.

"Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. Then life seems almost enchanted after all.”
-Vincent Van Gogh

I cut my wrist on a broken glass this morning. That might have been the highest point of my day since church was pretty much a boredom dome except for the fact that I saw “Zach” there with his bro and his lil’ sis and mom. Oh and while I was still bleeding from the broken glass I saw Andrew from our window which is kinda like adding insult to injury and “Bang The Doldrums” was playing in the background with the exact lines: “Best friend, ex-friends ‘til the end, better off as lovers and not the other way around. Racing through the city, windows down in the back of yellow-checkered cars.” Ugh! Why aren’t we friends anymore?!? You know it’s hard to say, “I do” when I don’t.
*Pun Intended* LOL


Right so Lex is on early vacation in Australia *says it with a perfect Aussie accent* and we are still here on Graduation Practice. School is ending on March 20th for us so yeah it’s cool.

Well I just got from my retreat this last Wednesday we were there since Monday afternoon ‘til about 2:00 pm Wednesday we got here at 5:00 pm. So the retreat was fun we made new friends with all off the kids from the other branch of our school. Come to think of it I miss those Dandies : Alan, Joyce, Kenneth, Danilo, Yohan, Niña, and Marc were the ones I was close with a lot. But there was no sleep for me and my roommates for the 1st night cause of Priscilla and Kim scaring the shit out of the others by telling them they saw a goddamned ghost outside one of the rooms.



So we were in Room 8 on the 2nd floor. While Kevin and the two boys (Josh and Ariel) along with our Retreat Master were in Room 4 on the 3rd floor. Daniel, Aicar and John Rey were in Room 9 right next to our room with the boys from the other school. They had been playing tricks on us too. We even woke up the teachers and the caretakers of the retreat house with all of Kim’s shrieking and Priscilla’s voice and all of the other noises we made.


My Roommates

Kim
Cathrina
Anjelica
Camille
Precious
Anna
Priscilla
Yselle
Hedy Anne
Edna



So no sleep = almost falling asleep at Mass and at our sessions. We were allowed to sleep after lunch and we woke up late and as a punishment we had to dance this really cheesy dance, which almost made us puke. I missed my PC and TV hahahaha that and chatting and My Friends (Gracie, Keiko, Steph, Lawrence, Andrew, “Zach” and “Jake”)

"The tombstones are waiting, they were half engraved, they knew it was over just didn't know the date."


I’m obsessed with this particular song right now:

The Carpal Tunnel Of Love

We take sour sips
From life's lush lips
And we shake shake shake the hips
In relationships
Stomp out this disaster town
You'll put your eyes to the sun and say "I know
You're only blinding to keep back what the clouds are hiding”
And we might have started singing just a little soon
We're throwing the stones at a glass moon.

Whoa ah oh we're so miserable and stunning
Whoa ah love songs for the genuinely cunning

We keep the beat,
With your blistered feet
We bullet the words at the mockingbirds, singing
Slept through the weekend
And dreaming of
sinking with the melody of the cliffs of eternity
Got postcards from my former selves, saying "how you been"?
We might of said goodbyes just a little soon
(Stomp out this disaster town)
Robbing lips and kissing banks under this moon.

Whoa ah oh we're so miserable and stunning
Whoa ah love songs for the genuinely cunning
Whoa ah oh we're so miserable and stunning
Whoa ah love songs for the genuinely cunning

It was ice cream headaches and sweet avalanche
When the pearls in our shells came out to dance
You call me a bad tipper of the cradle
But I’m tired yawns for fawns on hunter’s lawns
We’re the has-beens of husbands
Sharpening the knives of young wives
Take two years and call me when you're better
Take teardrops of mine, find yourself wetter

Whoa ah oh we're so miserable and stunning
Whoa ah love songs for the genuinely cunning
Whoa ah oh we're so miserable and stunning
Whoa ah love songs for the genuinely cunning


Great song, I love it a lot and kinda want it to be my theme song……..I wish. <3<3<3<3<3

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m209/XxKid_ViciousxX/HappyTreeFriendsFallOutBoy.jpg

aren't they cute haha Gracie has dibs on Patrick I get Pete

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Killme;
on; 12:29 AM


Wednesday, January 10, 2007


Two very different places.One is a garden of beauty and death the other a kingdom made real by a powerful queen with a vision of peace achieved through death.Ah..the common factor is death.A hypocrite this queen is.She dreams of peace yet she kills millions to achieve it.We all say the opposite of what we mean.Can't we just say it like it is?No, we can't cause feelings get hurt, and people get mad.But blah the people are the people nothing can change that.Not unless we live on the moon then the people wouldn't survive.I wouldn't be writing this ahhh.

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Killme;
on; 7:42 AM



Pieces of thought I love:
"Untitled"

The moon bred new Atlantic life tonight.the salt burned you right out of my eyes.and secrets we're not proud of were taken with the tide. We were all newborns with blurred vision and no sense of direction.
Today I saw cancer, cigarettes and shortness of breath.
this is why I walk to the ocean.swim with sharks and jellyfish.
I may never get this chance again.this is why if you want to kiss you should kiss.If you want to cry you should cry, and if you want to live you should live.
You don't have to love me. You already did. At least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia.it's for lovers
(orjustfriends)
this is why I do it.

"I'm nothing like a song"

I want to be a lion, everybody wants to pass as cats.yeah we all want to be big big stars,but then we have second thoughts about that.

I don't always deal with things the best way, and in order to try and slow my life down I disappear every now and then.so believe in me, because i don't believe in anything.

when everybody loves you, you can never be lonely.sometimes, sometimes it's not that easy.

I have this pocket watch, and I spin the hands around and around just to pretend I have control of things. a month away. we can play normal for a few days.
starcrossedlovers.
-Ryan Ross

I love his thoughts because when you think about it and I mean really think about it what he says is true.And no I am not thinking like a little emo girl.Thoughts of people like him should have a chance to be heard by everyone.Everyone should have a voice even if you're small you can still make your voice heard throughout this big world its just a matter of how you do it.

"I never wanna forget"

Skies change, time passes. I wonder what stays the same.Is there anything that does?Many things die and a lot of things are born.If this cycle continues in a few more million years if everything from our world now is gone what will be left of the original culture what will be left of everything todays humans worked so hard to creat.Nothing.Maybe not even a faint memory.That's why I hate forgetting because I end up losing something I either worked hard for or I loved.I hope you don't forget.
-Nyx
That's what being ahead of your age gets you......but it's fun to be ahead a bit. <3<3
Hate lost,love gained.

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Killme;
on; 7:31 AM


Thursday, December 14, 2006


Currently listening to:"Make damn sure"-Taking Back Sunday

"I just wanna break you down so badly."Adam Lazzara reminds me of Zane
my personal vampire.

Well today I got into another medium sized argument with Ian. Cause:PRISCILLA Summary: Well he broke out into an uncontrolable rage in math and got himself scolded. End: We made-up and are bestfriends again.

He is no longer under Priscilla's spell.He is no longer a mindless, Priscilla worshipping zombie thanks to yours truly.
He's like my 2nd Joe Trohman with his curly hair and his height.I've known Ian since the 3rd grade and he has changed a lot since the time of 2 x 2=4 until now.He is still the best and is still my bestfriend unlike Andrew who I just can't stand at all.FRIDAY!FREEDOM!Yes!

I'm just wrote a four page play for a modern day nativity story.It's for my class they'll perform it.I'll be on X mas Vacation Starting Dec. 19,2006 okay!FRANK IERO SAYS BYE

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Killme;
on; 10:07 AM


KILLme

Hyper Psycho who can stop laughing and I'm contagious.Oh did I mention a vampire who loves the sun and is addicted to MUSIC. Call Me: -Nyx -Onyx -Razor -Nikki -Cole -Skyler -Zyre (Jamie, you owe me one) -Frankie or Frank (Maybe this ones just for Cathrina and Kimmy) Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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